Modesty is such a touchy and controversial topic to some women in this society. Growing up in a Korean household, it was not easy to have personal conversations, or even have confrontational conversations with our parents about how to dress, what to wear or even talk about how to be a classy woman. As I said in my previous blog, I basically had to learn everything my own. In college, I started to gain a lot of confidence in myself physically. The reason why I say Physically is because I used to hate the way I look. As an Asian chick, I was built a little differently than most. I was tall, thick and big chested. I started to loose weight during my early 20s and my physical features started to change as I got older. I was able to wear basically anything I wanted (Which was like a dream come true!). I must say, all my clothes were very revealing. Short shorts, short dresses, see-through leggings, chest out, you name it! I thought that was Jane being Jane and being comfortable under my own skin. Why was I dressing the way I did? Why did I feel the need for my clothes to be so flashy and showy? I never understood why. I realized being flashy was my way of building confidence but I was seeking attention in the wrong way. Some women wonder why men are always cat calling us or "hitting" on us. What message are we sending out to people. Yes, we do not have control over what people say but at the same time, what message are we really delivering?
Every time an elderly women would confront me about how I used to dress, I was always so quick to get defensive. My defensive mechanism would always be "This is me and you can't change me!". I never had older women in my space to help me go through this process. I had my mother but she was a Korean mom just helping us live day by day. In the bible it states, "I desire, that women would adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness with good works. [1 Timothy 2:8-10]". Going back to church in 2014 and my position as a manager in the beauty industry has made me see modesty in a whole another level. Aside from Christianty, in a business world, you want to be taken seriously. Looks do matter and looks have to be presentable. That may mean, a dress above your knees and a blazer to be looking like a real OG Boss (Haha). As a manager in the beauty industry, it is important for me too not only represent the company but to also set an example as a leader. At the end of the day, people are looking up to me.
As I get older, I'm realizing certain clothes at a certain age is not tolerable. I don't think wearing short shorts at the age of 27 is quite attractive. As a Christian woman, I believe it's important to be concerned with yourself because the word says so. Modesty is about who you worship. I play the piano at my church every Sunday. It's important for me to look my Sunday best because I am commanded to adorn myself in a way that is fitting for worship in front of an audience. Modesty isn't not only just about clothing, it's also about the behavior and attitude as a woman. No human being wants to be around a contentious woman. A woman with class is always attractive to the opposite sex. It's how we communicate and how we can relate to others. Modesty also is sensitive towards sin. In the bible when Paul talks about woman's apparel should be worn with modesty, he is talking about a demeanor of reference, showing respect to oneself and a regard for others. Basically, a woman would be so sensitive to sin, knowing that sin is offensive to God and that she would not come close to try provoking it in others. Modesty is about true freedom and not repression. Modesty can come off as rules and restriction when that's not the case. When modesty is motivated from the heart, the exact opposite is true.
Being 27, I started to see things differently as I got older. I realized it was so important for me to surround myself elderly women. I was always so used to being independent and the oldest in my family that I didn't realized I needed help. As a woman, I am taken more seriously and respected. There are so many classy outfits that can make a woman feel sexy and beautiful inside and out. The reason why I'm so passionate about this topic because I was insecure and hated myself. I'm happy for my uncomfortable stages of life, because I've grown to be the woman God has called me to be
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"She is more precious than jewels" [Proverbs 3:15]
Such a good read. I pray that women from the four corners of the world read this and are touched by your word and story and helps them through their time. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank you Gavin! This means a lot to me.
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