My emotions speak to the inner core of my heart.
I feel the shifting about to start.
Am I ready for this?
Or am I quick to resist?
Truth be told, the shift has already begun.
Friends, family, loved ones slowly started to fade away.
The numbers in my phone didn't matter anymore because those area codes started to decay.
All the rotten pieces finally came to an expiration.
The toxicness was no longer able to control me no more.
All I can feel is the Holy Spirit pulling away from that door.
As the door closes, He escorts me to the banquet hall.
There's different direction the Lord wanted me to see.
I walk the trails of honey from the rock, the path lead me to my identity.
My mask finally falls off and I'm able to see.
As my God says, "Now you are the body of Christ and each one of you is a part of me".
Identity has taught me my entitlement and professions do not validate me as a human.
It is my Abba Father that has the authority to tell me who I am as a woman.
Sunday, August 25, 2019
Tuesday, June 25, 2019
People vs. Me
Sometimes you feel like the only person you got is yourself.
You maybe part of a community, have a family and so called friends who care about you.
But even in a world filled with people,
You still felt as if they acted all brand new with you.
Hurt people, hurt people, that's what the people sing.
But the reality is, problem and person are two different things.
Certain conversations I would have to myself because I didn't understand.
But Lord you have been there, you have been there as my right hand man.
My wilderness has brought my season into new revelation.
It was through prayer that provoked power which caused me to be regulatory in normal conversations.
Speaking up and opening my heart was such a warfare.
But I didn't need a mic anymore because people who talk to God in secret can ignite a fire anywhere.
When I lift my voice, I speak with confidence and authority.
There's nothing I want more, than you intimately.
You maybe part of a community, have a family and so called friends who care about you.
But even in a world filled with people,
You still felt as if they acted all brand new with you.
Hurt people, hurt people, that's what the people sing.
But the reality is, problem and person are two different things.
Certain conversations I would have to myself because I didn't understand.
But Lord you have been there, you have been there as my right hand man.
My wilderness has brought my season into new revelation.
It was through prayer that provoked power which caused me to be regulatory in normal conversations.
Speaking up and opening my heart was such a warfare.
But I didn't need a mic anymore because people who talk to God in secret can ignite a fire anywhere.
When I lift my voice, I speak with confidence and authority.
There's nothing I want more, than you intimately.
Tuesday, May 28, 2019
Where Have You Been Dad?
I’ve longed for your love at the age of five.
But all I felt was rejection and getting denied.
Where were you when I felt rejected from all the men?
Used, verbally abused, low self esteem and alone.
Dad, I've been looking for you.
Where were you?
I've had you in my life for 29 years, and still felt nonexistent.
Your alcoholic behaviors made the family feel so resistant.
I wanted you to show me How a man is supposed to treat a woman,
But that was hard to believe because all I got was you calling me a worthless piece of human.
I've been called beautiful by many men.
But still had the ugly feeling inside then.
Many men would say, "How can a beautiful woman like you feel this way?"
But if you knew behind the curtain the scenes that were played
The pill I used to swallow used to give me side effects.
Depression, anxiety and some emotions to the next.
I used to think if I read the labels correctly I wouldn't feel as much pain.
But I knew that my God was my Lord in vain
Til' this day I still long for your love.
But all I can in those times is trust the man above.
I heard a voice one day and he said:
My beloved daughter, when you were hiding, I've been here all along.
Arise my darling, my beautiful one, come with me as it says in the book of Song of Songs.
I fought for you in your weakness.
When you locked yourself in your room filled with all your secrets.
Your faithful Dad has always been here.
Just lay your head next to me and come near.
But all I felt was rejection and getting denied.
Where were you when I felt rejected from all the men?
Used, verbally abused, low self esteem and alone.
Dad, I've been looking for you.
Where were you?
I've had you in my life for 29 years, and still felt nonexistent.
Your alcoholic behaviors made the family feel so resistant.
I wanted you to show me How a man is supposed to treat a woman,
But that was hard to believe because all I got was you calling me a worthless piece of human.
I've been called beautiful by many men.
But still had the ugly feeling inside then.
Many men would say, "How can a beautiful woman like you feel this way?"
But if you knew behind the curtain the scenes that were played
The pill I used to swallow used to give me side effects.
Depression, anxiety and some emotions to the next.
I used to think if I read the labels correctly I wouldn't feel as much pain.
But I knew that my God was my Lord in vain
Til' this day I still long for your love.
But all I can in those times is trust the man above.
I heard a voice one day and he said:
My beloved daughter, when you were hiding, I've been here all along.
Arise my darling, my beautiful one, come with me as it says in the book of Song of Songs.
I fought for you in your weakness.
When you locked yourself in your room filled with all your secrets.
Your faithful Dad has always been here.
Just lay your head next to me and come near.
Follow me on Social Media
Business IG: @bossbabee_movement
Personal IG: @soojanelyy
Sunday, May 19, 2019
War
There's a war that I used to fight everyday
The war was the battlefield in the mind, with all the other emotions combined
Anxiety and Depression were some of the lies that the enemy would say
But when those moment creeped up, I got on my knees and just prayed
Anxiety and I do not get along. We would fight, battle and loose sleep.
You try to sleep so that you won't feel
But when you wake up you realize "Dang, this feeling legit feels so real!"
The wrestle I used to fight in my thoughts, really made me feel blind.
Reality is, the most difficult project in the world is the reconstruction of the human mind.
I would ask God why does it feel like my life is falling apart.
My daughter Jane, if you only knew what your life is turning out to be my sweet heart.
You are the sum total of all you've been conditioned to think.
No more, no less!
This is all a Process.
The war was the battlefield in the mind, with all the other emotions combined
Anxiety and Depression were some of the lies that the enemy would say
But when those moment creeped up, I got on my knees and just prayed
Anxiety and I do not get along. We would fight, battle and loose sleep.
You try to sleep so that you won't feel
But when you wake up you realize "Dang, this feeling legit feels so real!"
The wrestle I used to fight in my thoughts, really made me feel blind.
Reality is, the most difficult project in the world is the reconstruction of the human mind.
I would ask God why does it feel like my life is falling apart.
My daughter Jane, if you only knew what your life is turning out to be my sweet heart.
You are the sum total of all you've been conditioned to think.
No more, no less!
This is all a Process.
Sunday, April 14, 2019
Father Figure
Why is it important to have a Father in your life? A Father is known to play an authoritative role. They are the Super Man of the household, they are the bread winner, they are the pillars in the development of a child's emotional well-being, the list can go on and on. My journey lately has been interesting because the word "Father Figure" has been really pressed onto me for a while. What is it that you want me to talk about Lord? Why am I having such a difficult time putting the words together? This specific topic took awhile for me to process through because of how it makes me feel. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. But thank God for the Holy Spirit, I know that what I'm about to discuss can talk someone's life. That is the goal of this post.
"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5. I had the privilege of having my Father in my life. Even though he was a part of my life, there was a lot emotional distortion that I saw growing up. Dad's create the gold standard for future romantic relationships. In my Korean culture, you rarely see any physical emotional interactions; hugs, kisses, holding hands etc. To be honest, for the 29 years of my life I've never seen my parents even hold hands or even kiss! Crazy right? The only thing I saw was maybe my father put his arms around my mother while they had to take a family photo, but that was about it. A daughter's first love, first starts with their Father. I unfortunately was not able to see that growing up. Money and success was shown as "love" to me. As long as there was food and a roof over our heads, that was love. Being raised in a different generation where I've longed for certain affections, my Father had a hard time providing emotion needs when I was a little girl. I never understood why because I would see all my friends have their father's call them, there little princess. All he really said to me was, do well in school, don't eat too much and provide for your Father when you get older. Those were probably the only thing he has mentioned to me.
Young girls depends on their fathers for security and emotional support. A Father Figure shows his daughter what a good relationship with a man is supposed to be. I remember when I was about 5 years old, I was so excited for my dad to show me how to ride a two-wheel bicycle. It was the closest I've ever felt with him. He held me tight so I won't get hurt, he made sure I kept my balance and held onto to me. The moments when I lost my balance, he was right there for me to fall onto his arms. That moment meant a lot to me because I felt protected from my Father. He kept me safe the entire time so I won't fall and get hurt. He did what a Father was supposed to do. Protect. He was demonstrating his protection by teaching me the basics of how to ride a bike. I realized when I was younger, it was much easier to interact with my dad because I was young and didn't really know any better. Now that I'm older, you have a better understanding of life and you experienced enough, I felt as if it was harder for me to open up to my dad and also to express certain emotions because I was not able to receive any of that when I was young. So growing up, I wasn't as expressive towards others. I didn't like when people hugged me for so long. I wasn't around physical affection. I thank God that he's been working on me in this area to allow my emotions to be more expressive and be more open. I'm still a working progress.
I longed for my Father's love and affection. I was seeking those emotions from other men in my past relationships. I was attracting certain attributes my father had, in men and always ended up damaging my heart. The way a Father behaves towards their daughter is key. Loving fathers who provide praise, support and unconditional love give their daughters the gift of confidence and high self-esteem. Respectful and supportive fathers teach their daughters to expect that in their relationships. Don't get me wrong, my Father did the best he can to raise my sister and I. Our language barrier also had a lot to do with it as well. As much as I don't want to bring culture into the equation, it really did have a lot to do with why I was built the way I was. Growing up the way they think and how they perceive life was very challenging. The language would go something like this, "Oh Jane, you would look so much prettier if you were skinnier". I mean.... when I'm about 12 years old, chubby with Harry Potter glasses, I would take that pretty personal because that's the age where I'm trying to figure myself out, as a woman! But as I got older, I realized, that's honestly a normal conversation. Those type of conversations were even coming out of my parents mouths! Sounds crazy right? But that was the norm to Korean culture. So growing up that messed with my mind because I'm thinking I had to loose all this weight. When I was 17 years old, I went to this Christian Summer Camp with my high school friends. I used to go to a lot of camps when I was younger but this one specific camp changed my life. On the last night of prayer, I remember just crouching down on the floor and praying. A nice lady came over to me and praying for me. She started prophesying and when she laid her hands on me, I felt a sense of relief. All the heaviness from my emotional demons were being release. I was able to breath again. I remember saying, "WOW I'm delivered!". At that moment, I knew I was delivered from my insecurities, body image, appearance, EVERYTHING! There was a huge spirit of joy. I remember just crying for joy afterwards because I knew God healed. Don't get me wrong, I still had that battlefield time to time but I can confidently say, I can walk out a feeling comfortable with what God has given me. He created me a specific way and I love everything about it. Fashion and beauty is so interesting to me because this shows me how to create my own art through clothing and also through modeling.
At a certain age, most girls feel less than confident with their bodies. I always had this battlefield with my body image growing up. I was always tall and thick. I always had a difficult time finding the right clothes that fit me. A lot of the clothes my friends would wear, I was either overweight or too tall to fit into them. My dad always called my sister and I, "PIG" growing up. Til this day he still calls us that. As I got older it just became a nickname that he called us. Every time I wore a dress and or anything nice, I would never hear a compliment, when deep down inside, I longed for him to call me his beautiful daughter. Girls with poor body images may isolate themselves socially, thin too much into the way they look and loose confidence. I thank God, I never got to that extreme but I was not happy with the way I looked growing up. While Father's aren't the only people who influence the way their daughter view their own bodies, they do play a very important role. Not only do young girls take in the way that fathers speak to them about how they look, they are also influenced by the way their fathers speak about other's appearance. "Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself." 1 Corinthians 6:19.
I luckily, had the privilege of growing up with a Father but there we're a lot emotional distortion that came with that. Til this day, my Father and I are currently working on our relationship. That is the most important part about this journey, continuously learning. Daughters need great fathers. It would be nearly impossible to overstate the importance of father-daughter relationship. Young women who have a positive relationship with their father achieve more and they make better relationship choices. I thank God for the experiences because I'm able to talk with confidence about this topic. If this was me years ago, I would not be able to have the right words to put this piece together. I know there are a lot of women out there that may be dealing with the same issues. Just know that you are not alone. We can do this together.
Young girls depends on their fathers for security and emotional support. A Father Figure shows his daughter what a good relationship with a man is supposed to be. I remember when I was about 5 years old, I was so excited for my dad to show me how to ride a two-wheel bicycle. It was the closest I've ever felt with him. He held me tight so I won't get hurt, he made sure I kept my balance and held onto to me. The moments when I lost my balance, he was right there for me to fall onto his arms. That moment meant a lot to me because I felt protected from my Father. He kept me safe the entire time so I won't fall and get hurt. He did what a Father was supposed to do. Protect. He was demonstrating his protection by teaching me the basics of how to ride a bike. I realized when I was younger, it was much easier to interact with my dad because I was young and didn't really know any better. Now that I'm older, you have a better understanding of life and you experienced enough, I felt as if it was harder for me to open up to my dad and also to express certain emotions because I was not able to receive any of that when I was young. So growing up, I wasn't as expressive towards others. I didn't like when people hugged me for so long. I wasn't around physical affection. I thank God that he's been working on me in this area to allow my emotions to be more expressive and be more open. I'm still a working progress.
I longed for my Father's love and affection. I was seeking those emotions from other men in my past relationships. I was attracting certain attributes my father had, in men and always ended up damaging my heart. The way a Father behaves towards their daughter is key. Loving fathers who provide praise, support and unconditional love give their daughters the gift of confidence and high self-esteem. Respectful and supportive fathers teach their daughters to expect that in their relationships. Don't get me wrong, my Father did the best he can to raise my sister and I. Our language barrier also had a lot to do with it as well. As much as I don't want to bring culture into the equation, it really did have a lot to do with why I was built the way I was. Growing up the way they think and how they perceive life was very challenging. The language would go something like this, "Oh Jane, you would look so much prettier if you were skinnier". I mean.... when I'm about 12 years old, chubby with Harry Potter glasses, I would take that pretty personal because that's the age where I'm trying to figure myself out, as a woman! But as I got older, I realized, that's honestly a normal conversation. Those type of conversations were even coming out of my parents mouths! Sounds crazy right? But that was the norm to Korean culture. So growing up that messed with my mind because I'm thinking I had to loose all this weight. When I was 17 years old, I went to this Christian Summer Camp with my high school friends. I used to go to a lot of camps when I was younger but this one specific camp changed my life. On the last night of prayer, I remember just crouching down on the floor and praying. A nice lady came over to me and praying for me. She started prophesying and when she laid her hands on me, I felt a sense of relief. All the heaviness from my emotional demons were being release. I was able to breath again. I remember saying, "WOW I'm delivered!". At that moment, I knew I was delivered from my insecurities, body image, appearance, EVERYTHING! There was a huge spirit of joy. I remember just crying for joy afterwards because I knew God healed. Don't get me wrong, I still had that battlefield time to time but I can confidently say, I can walk out a feeling comfortable with what God has given me. He created me a specific way and I love everything about it. Fashion and beauty is so interesting to me because this shows me how to create my own art through clothing and also through modeling.
At a certain age, most girls feel less than confident with their bodies. I always had this battlefield with my body image growing up. I was always tall and thick. I always had a difficult time finding the right clothes that fit me. A lot of the clothes my friends would wear, I was either overweight or too tall to fit into them. My dad always called my sister and I, "PIG" growing up. Til this day he still calls us that. As I got older it just became a nickname that he called us. Every time I wore a dress and or anything nice, I would never hear a compliment, when deep down inside, I longed for him to call me his beautiful daughter. Girls with poor body images may isolate themselves socially, thin too much into the way they look and loose confidence. I thank God, I never got to that extreme but I was not happy with the way I looked growing up. While Father's aren't the only people who influence the way their daughter view their own bodies, they do play a very important role. Not only do young girls take in the way that fathers speak to them about how they look, they are also influenced by the way their fathers speak about other's appearance. "Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself." 1 Corinthians 6:19.
I luckily, had the privilege of growing up with a Father but there we're a lot emotional distortion that came with that. Til this day, my Father and I are currently working on our relationship. That is the most important part about this journey, continuously learning. Daughters need great fathers. It would be nearly impossible to overstate the importance of father-daughter relationship. Young women who have a positive relationship with their father achieve more and they make better relationship choices. I thank God for the experiences because I'm able to talk with confidence about this topic. If this was me years ago, I would not be able to have the right words to put this piece together. I know there are a lot of women out there that may be dealing with the same issues. Just know that you are not alone. We can do this together.
"It has never been easy between us but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you Dad."
Your Pig,
Jane
EVENTS
I will be giving my first testimony and releasing my first poem ever!
See you there!
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA
Instagram: @bossbabee_movement
Personal: @soojanelyy
Thursday, March 14, 2019
#iAm Brand Interview ft. CEO Frank Nitti & Andrew Daniell
Fashion is art designed by your own clothing. I've always been into creating my own look and making it look different and unique. What I love about #iAm Brand is you get to embrace who you are and believe you can become whatever you want to be in life. In this post, I had the privilege of interviewing two of my greatest brother's in Christ, Frank Nitti & Andrew Daniell. They've always been one of my biggest supporters since day one. I genuinely love what they do and what an impact their brand has become throughout the years. For me, it brings me confidence that I can embrace who I am and what I am as a woman of God. Come join me and hear the depths of what they did to get to where they are with this brand.
FRANK NITTI
1. What does #iAM Brand mean to you?
It's More Than A Brand for the words you put after #iAm (the two most powerful words) you become!
2. What is your biggest accomplishment with your brand?
Being able to see people find their way to church because of the blessings and callings on our lives.
3. What makes Frank Nitti & Andrew Daniell a dynamic duo?
We're like Ying and Yang a balance.
4. What are some things you had to learn?
Patience is definitely a big one and Supply & Demand.
5. What's God' purpose for this brand?
To express who you are without having to go out buy these big name brands and spend massive amount of money to show off to other people.
6. What do you see within the next 5 years with #iAm Brand?
Being able to sponsor our Home Church CUHOW (Christ Uncensored House of Worship) and Staff while being able to bring the Gospel into millions of lives around the world.
7. When did you see yourself a success?
Honestly, Success means different things to different people. It's all a state of mind. For me, when you have people coming to you saying they're proud of you and how far you've come and then of course wanting to collab or wanting a piece after is always a blessing.
8. How do you push through your worst times?
Me personally, I abide by a rule, "When you're down, reach up and when you're up, reach down". Meaning, when you're down reach up to someone whether it be a spouse, best friend, pastor even God. He hears all. When you're up, reach down meaning someone else may be going through something you've went through and conquered. You can help them conquer as well. Community is important!
9. What are your success habits?
1st thing I do when I wake up is, Thank God for blessing me and my family and my loved ones with another day of purpose on this earth and then I hit the Bible App fir a Devotional (if you do not have it Download it. It's a great way to dive into the word and learn for yourself and how it applies to your life). After that my day is scheduled between making music, reaching out to people, attempting to sneak a work out in there somewhere lol and spending sometime with loved ones and before bed thanking God again for the day.
10. Any new merch Coming Soon?
YES WE HAVE SOME NEW MERCH COMING FOR THIS NEXT SEASON! GET READY! BLESSINGS LOADING........
ANDREW DANIELL
1. What does #iAm Brand mean to you?
Just like our slogan says "More Than A Brand". We love giving back!
2. What is your biggest accomplishment with your brand?
Partnering up with our family over at FIG (Freedom In God) Church and starting the "This Ain't Religion" Movement. We recently had our first event and exceeded our expectations.
3. What makes Frank Nitti & Andrew Daniell a dynamic duo?
Our Godly Brotherly Bond. Our goals and dreams align with each other. We compliment each other's craft, talents and skills, making us that much better.
4. What are some things you had to learn?
That it's better to rely on yourself to get the job done right and on time. So rather than depending on a manufacturer, we became our own manufacture and purchased our own machines to produce.
That it's better to rely on yourself to get the job done right and on time. So rather than depending on a manufacturer, we became our own manufacture and purchased our own machines to produce.
5. What's God's purpose for this brand?
To be more than just a brand, to be of value and to be a blessing to others. And most importantly, to be a great representation of God.
6. What do you see within the next 5 years with #iAm Brand?
Expansion.
Partnership with big name movements and churches.
Sponsorship's
We will be capable of giving back tremendously beyond what we can do now.
7. When did you see yourself a success?
The moment #iAm fell onto our laps. We walk in victory and since this came from God, it's already a success.
8. How do you push through your worst times?
Pray pray pray and pray some more. Eat something and pray again LOL!
9. What are your success habits?
Fellowshipping.
Staying in the Word.
Praying.
Declaring positive affirmations daily.
Keeping each other on our toes and being accountable for each other.
Service our Church.
Waking up early.
A lot of sleepless nights.
Steering away from television and the toxic waste that comes from there.
Filtering Social Media and weeding out any and all negative contents. (Thank you God for the MUTE button lol)
Read. (Positive, Self-Developing Books)
10. Any new merch Coming Soon?
WE ARE ALWAYS COOKING UP SOMETHING NEW. STAY TUNED!
"More Than A Brand"
Follow Us on Social Media
#iAm Instagram: @iam_officialbrand
Frank Nitti: @frank_iam_nitti
Andrew Daniell: @iamandrewdaniell
#BOSSBABEMVMT
Sunday, March 3, 2019
Act Like a Lady
Being a women is such a beautiful thing. I mean, that's all I really know. I was born a woman haha! What does it mean to "act like a lady"? This can mean so many things. Everyone has their own opinion on how woman should act. So many woman out there as a story about someone telling them how to "act like a lady". Unfortunately, those stories are usually how they were looked small, how to act, how to dress, the list goes on. I will be discussing in more so in a spiritual aspect of how a Woman should perceive themselves. Do women have the right to dress, walk and talk the way they want? Absoultely! But as a woman of God, there are certain attributes that we should live by.
Growing up, I had a difficult time with the language barrier between my parents. Although, I understood everything they were saying, there were certain conversations that they didn't have with me. Especially my mother, who was the woman in my life. I refuse to blame culture into this matter because my mom did everything in her power to raise me. She honestly, did the best that she could. She didn't have certain conversations with me as far as, how to dress, how to act, and etc. I had to figure everything on my own. I used to be the chubby girl in junior high school that wanted to fit into those nice clothes. I was always a big girl so I wasn't able to fit into a lot of the clothes. Once, I got into high school and college, I lost some weight started to feel myself... Hayyy! Wearing short shorts and short skirts was my jam back in the day. Once, I started to live my life for God, there weren't certain desires anymore. Being around women who walked me through this process helped me in this area. Also being on stage and part of a worship team, I had to look a certain way. The congregation is looking at me and looking up to me. There was no way I could wear half those clothes?! Presentaion was everything. You can still be dress and classy at the same time. I realized, that being classy more attractive than showing your personal business. This is why I love fashion. I grew into loving to dress myself in a way I stand out but also make it my own design. Creating my own look, makes me feel confident and makes me feel like I can create my own image. The word says "And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes." 1 Timothy 2:9. Dressing accordingly is definitely something that takes a part to acting like a lady.
Does how we talk really matter to people around us? Yes! Mannerism's plays such a huge aspect as a lady. It's one thing to burp and fart at the dinner table (that's just straight up nasty!), but the way you speak, walk and talk plays such a huge part. Back in my days, all my best friends knew I was the fighter of the group. Not only I was always the biggest, but I always had something to say. I felt that if I said something, I would prove a point. It never did because it only got me in trouble. The amount of bar fights, to getting kicked out the club, to pushing a guy because he was in my best friend's face, punching a guy in junior high school for calling me names. I look back at it now, dang I was a THUG! (haha I'm totally kidding). All of those actions didn't justify my actions. Sometimes being quiet says a lot about a person. Sometimes you don't need an explanation and to defend everything. Sometimes you don't need to know it all. A woman, a lady, a warrior, acts accordingly and remains calm. Sometimes, there is no need for that type of energy to waste. It only hurts yourself. In the bible is says "It's better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife." Proverbs 21:19.
Being Humble is another great to "act like a lady". What does it mean to be humble? Why is it important to God? Being humble is to realize how weak we are, and how helpless we are to change the course of our lives in our own power. Even if we believe we're being humble, it's often difficult in our society to show humility as the Lord would like. Culturally, we push God away and instead place our focuses on the world's way. Humility is often not seen as a positive trait, it's more so seen as weakness. I always had a hard time accepting what's right and what's wrong. I never wanted to be wrong in any type of situation. We are all not perfect and it's to set your pride down to say you made a mistake. Humbleness and humility show that you are knowledgeable to what is real.
Confidence is one of the biggest traits to acting like a lady. Nothing is more attractive than a woman walking in confidence. Knowing your purpose, knowing who you truly are and what God has called you to be, makes your journey and process easier. A confident woman, always speaks in positive terminologies in her conversations and presents themselves a certain way. Your demeanor says a lot of about your body language. Sometimes it is not easy to compose yourself, especially on a bad day. Even when she is not her best self, she knows that she can put on a face and smile because she makes it happy with a strong pose. A confidant woman stands tall, looks people in the eye (even in her worst days) when she is talking to them and smiles, because she believes in herself. Understanding your own personality can be key to your success.
Growing up, I had a difficult time with the language barrier between my parents. Although, I understood everything they were saying, there were certain conversations that they didn't have with me. Especially my mother, who was the woman in my life. I refuse to blame culture into this matter because my mom did everything in her power to raise me. She honestly, did the best that she could. She didn't have certain conversations with me as far as, how to dress, how to act, and etc. I had to figure everything on my own. I used to be the chubby girl in junior high school that wanted to fit into those nice clothes. I was always a big girl so I wasn't able to fit into a lot of the clothes. Once, I got into high school and college, I lost some weight started to feel myself... Hayyy! Wearing short shorts and short skirts was my jam back in the day. Once, I started to live my life for God, there weren't certain desires anymore. Being around women who walked me through this process helped me in this area. Also being on stage and part of a worship team, I had to look a certain way. The congregation is looking at me and looking up to me. There was no way I could wear half those clothes?! Presentaion was everything. You can still be dress and classy at the same time. I realized, that being classy more attractive than showing your personal business. This is why I love fashion. I grew into loving to dress myself in a way I stand out but also make it my own design. Creating my own look, makes me feel confident and makes me feel like I can create my own image. The word says "And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes." 1 Timothy 2:9. Dressing accordingly is definitely something that takes a part to acting like a lady.
Does how we talk really matter to people around us? Yes! Mannerism's plays such a huge aspect as a lady. It's one thing to burp and fart at the dinner table (that's just straight up nasty!), but the way you speak, walk and talk plays such a huge part. Back in my days, all my best friends knew I was the fighter of the group. Not only I was always the biggest, but I always had something to say. I felt that if I said something, I would prove a point. It never did because it only got me in trouble. The amount of bar fights, to getting kicked out the club, to pushing a guy because he was in my best friend's face, punching a guy in junior high school for calling me names. I look back at it now, dang I was a THUG! (haha I'm totally kidding). All of those actions didn't justify my actions. Sometimes being quiet says a lot about a person. Sometimes you don't need an explanation and to defend everything. Sometimes you don't need to know it all. A woman, a lady, a warrior, acts accordingly and remains calm. Sometimes, there is no need for that type of energy to waste. It only hurts yourself. In the bible is says "It's better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife." Proverbs 21:19.
Being Humble is another great to "act like a lady". What does it mean to be humble? Why is it important to God? Being humble is to realize how weak we are, and how helpless we are to change the course of our lives in our own power. Even if we believe we're being humble, it's often difficult in our society to show humility as the Lord would like. Culturally, we push God away and instead place our focuses on the world's way. Humility is often not seen as a positive trait, it's more so seen as weakness. I always had a hard time accepting what's right and what's wrong. I never wanted to be wrong in any type of situation. We are all not perfect and it's to set your pride down to say you made a mistake. Humbleness and humility show that you are knowledgeable to what is real.
Confidence is one of the biggest traits to acting like a lady. Nothing is more attractive than a woman walking in confidence. Knowing your purpose, knowing who you truly are and what God has called you to be, makes your journey and process easier. A confident woman, always speaks in positive terminologies in her conversations and presents themselves a certain way. Your demeanor says a lot of about your body language. Sometimes it is not easy to compose yourself, especially on a bad day. Even when she is not her best self, she knows that she can put on a face and smile because she makes it happy with a strong pose. A confidant woman stands tall, looks people in the eye (even in her worst days) when she is talking to them and smiles, because she believes in herself. Understanding your own personality can be key to your success.
"For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do."
1 Timothy 2:10
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Monday, February 25, 2019
Effectiveness of Prayer
This year I really wanted to focus on making #BOSSBABE MVMT a movement where my blog can touch people's lives. This movement is going to not only touch people through my fashion and beauty advice but also through the gift of prayer. Words are definitely one thing that can influence and impact people. Prayer has been one of my biggest focuses this year. What does prayer do for our life? What is the purpose of prayer? How do we even pray? Why do we do it? The only way to build a stronger foundation with God is through prayer. Prayer has always been beneficial in my life. I've been playing on a worship team for almost all throughout my entire life. I was told by many prophets and pastors that my keyboard playing brings an anointing in the room. It didn't matter how great or bad I sounded, but the expressions of the audience always told it all. I knew I had a bigger calling in my life than just playing the keyboard. Another gift was Prayer. The Prayer for Healing.
Anyone in faith to the Lord, prayer plays such a huge impact in our life. Prayer should be like breathing. It's basically immune to us. It's a great tool to get intimate with God and build a stronger foundation. God says a relationship with Him gives a deeper satisfaction than anything else we desire. A relationship with God is so important because that's how He can restore us by believing and trusting in Him. Sometimes when we go through turmoils in life, it's hard to believe and we wonder and ask questions. During those times, that's when God wants us the most.
Prayer for me has always been beneficial in my life. In the Bible is says "Keep on asking, and you will receive what you asked for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8. So you mean to tell me, if I ask for anything the Lord will provide? That sounds like an awesome life God! But of course we must have faith during these moments of prayer.
How does Healing come into play in all this? I've always heard testimonies about people getting healed from cancer, sicknesses and other pains they've encountered, but I've never experienced them in person. I went to a Christian Camp in high school not expecting anything. I assumed it was just a typical camp that I've always been going to since I was a child, just a grown up version camp haha! During the last night of camp, we had late night prayer. That was the night I've visually have seen emotional and physical healing. It's something I've never seen before. I knew there was more to this than just playing the keyboard. What hit home to me was this girl who was deaf in both ears have popped when the Pastor prayed for her. Her hearing wasn't 100% but she was able to hear her voice. She has not heard her voice since she was 5 years old. I remember how I felt hearing her testimony. What my heart did at that moment. That's when I knew this was the God I serve, this was the God that heals. I've also experienced my own personal healing when I was prayed for my ankle back in 2014. This was 4 years after being out of church. My ankle hurt so bad to the point I was limping. I never felt such a feeling of Vapor Rub, soothing through my ankles from a hand. It was a feeling I've never felt before. At that moment, my faith has grown. I knew I had the capability of praying for the broken, the sick, you name it.
On 2/24/19, I had the privilege of playing the piano for a church. For some reason, I knew there was something powerful that was going to happen in the service today. I had the Holy Spirit mention to me multiple times to be obedient to what I am going to say to you today. I knew there had to be healing taken place. I came in early to rehearse and help. Once service started to begin, I started feeling certain pains; Headaches, anxiety, depression, back pains. I knew that wasn't all me. We started worshiping, after the set was done the pastor told me to continue playing. He came up to me and said "Everyone just listen to the playing of the piano. I love the way she plays and I'm not just saying this just because you're new but has anyone told you, your gift of playing shows grace and there is a sense of anointing when you play". At that moment, I knew healing needed to be taken in this place. I asked the pastor for permission if I can speak to the congregation and he let me take the mic. I said to the congregation, "I'm being obedient to the Lord, if anyone is dealing with depression, anxiety, back pains, headaches, please come up to the alter. I would love to pray for you". At that very moment I had about 6 people come up. I was shocked, I was so happy in the midst of me playing, I was able to pray for healing. Two people I prayed for, who were suffering through back pains, suicidal and depression, surrendered it all to the Lord and received healing that day. At the end of the day if two people are healed. God was in the works!
Trust and faith has got me to where I am. I know my writings and my obedience to the Lord will changes lives. My story is still being written.
Anyone in faith to the Lord, prayer plays such a huge impact in our life. Prayer should be like breathing. It's basically immune to us. It's a great tool to get intimate with God and build a stronger foundation. God says a relationship with Him gives a deeper satisfaction than anything else we desire. A relationship with God is so important because that's how He can restore us by believing and trusting in Him. Sometimes when we go through turmoils in life, it's hard to believe and we wonder and ask questions. During those times, that's when God wants us the most.
Prayer for me has always been beneficial in my life. In the Bible is says "Keep on asking, and you will receive what you asked for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8. So you mean to tell me, if I ask for anything the Lord will provide? That sounds like an awesome life God! But of course we must have faith during these moments of prayer.
How does Healing come into play in all this? I've always heard testimonies about people getting healed from cancer, sicknesses and other pains they've encountered, but I've never experienced them in person. I went to a Christian Camp in high school not expecting anything. I assumed it was just a typical camp that I've always been going to since I was a child, just a grown up version camp haha! During the last night of camp, we had late night prayer. That was the night I've visually have seen emotional and physical healing. It's something I've never seen before. I knew there was more to this than just playing the keyboard. What hit home to me was this girl who was deaf in both ears have popped when the Pastor prayed for her. Her hearing wasn't 100% but she was able to hear her voice. She has not heard her voice since she was 5 years old. I remember how I felt hearing her testimony. What my heart did at that moment. That's when I knew this was the God I serve, this was the God that heals. I've also experienced my own personal healing when I was prayed for my ankle back in 2014. This was 4 years after being out of church. My ankle hurt so bad to the point I was limping. I never felt such a feeling of Vapor Rub, soothing through my ankles from a hand. It was a feeling I've never felt before. At that moment, my faith has grown. I knew I had the capability of praying for the broken, the sick, you name it.
On 2/24/19, I had the privilege of playing the piano for a church. For some reason, I knew there was something powerful that was going to happen in the service today. I had the Holy Spirit mention to me multiple times to be obedient to what I am going to say to you today. I knew there had to be healing taken place. I came in early to rehearse and help. Once service started to begin, I started feeling certain pains; Headaches, anxiety, depression, back pains. I knew that wasn't all me. We started worshiping, after the set was done the pastor told me to continue playing. He came up to me and said "Everyone just listen to the playing of the piano. I love the way she plays and I'm not just saying this just because you're new but has anyone told you, your gift of playing shows grace and there is a sense of anointing when you play". At that moment, I knew healing needed to be taken in this place. I asked the pastor for permission if I can speak to the congregation and he let me take the mic. I said to the congregation, "I'm being obedient to the Lord, if anyone is dealing with depression, anxiety, back pains, headaches, please come up to the alter. I would love to pray for you". At that very moment I had about 6 people come up. I was shocked, I was so happy in the midst of me playing, I was able to pray for healing. Two people I prayed for, who were suffering through back pains, suicidal and depression, surrendered it all to the Lord and received healing that day. At the end of the day if two people are healed. God was in the works!
Trust and faith has got me to where I am. I know my writings and my obedience to the Lord will changes lives. My story is still being written.
"My role model went to the cross for me"
- Francis Chan
Personal Instagram: @soojanelyy
Business Instagram: bossbabee_movement
Thursday, February 14, 2019
SELF LOVE
Love is definitely in the air! I honestly never understood this holiday but I totally get the hype. How do we define love? What is love? How does love effect our lives? Everyone has their own version of Love. Love to me is an intense emotional attachment for one another. In the bible 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, the Lord says "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand it's own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstances." Jeez God, that's really hard to follow through! Almost everyone knows this scripture in the bible, but that is what Love is! Growing up I never got the typical chocolates and flowers. When I would see other girls in high school, I've always wanted that special moment. I realized I felt that way because never experienced that before. I always needed validation from a male to provide certain needs. Once my relationship with God has grown and I genuinely understood his love for me, the only thing that really mattered was God's Love. There's nothing worth more than embracing the Love that God has provided for me. At the end of the day, God know's his kids and know's what we desire. In this post, I will be sharing some of my growing process.
The most challenging thing for me was loneliness. I hated being alone. I was always going out whether it be with my friends or my ex-boyfriend at the time. I always needed to do things with another individual. When my relationship with God started to grow, I've learned to do things on my own. I was spending more time with others verses having an intimate relationship with God. At a period in my life, God has taken away some of my closest friends. It hurt and I never understood why. I REALLY felt alone. I went from seeing them almost every week to years of not seeing each other. At that moment, it was just me and God. God wanted to show me what it was like to spend time with him, to understand what true love was, break down certain things that he wanted me to heal from. In the midst of my "loneliness", the Lord has been with me this entire time. He was grabbing my attention the entire time but I was too consumed with other people. When I started to understand God's Love, I started taking myself out on dates. What that looked like to me was, taking myself to lunch, go to the gym, go driving on the highway, go shopping by myself. Honestly, in the beginning it was so weird but now it's basically became a habit haha! The great part is, I don't have to wait for anyone and I move at my own pace (I can't help I'm such a timely person!).
I always had this habit of being there for everyone. Loyalty has been one of my biggest traits. It's something I stand by and once I'm committed, I'M LEGIT ALL IN! I've realized, you can't be everyone's superhero. You can't always save people because at the end of the day, they have to figure it out on their own, just like you did. We need to be the best version of our self. Do things that make you happy. I used to stress out about what I ate all the time, now I eat whatever I want and workout at the same time. Because I stress less about what food goes in my mouth, my muscle and body structure has been the most successful in my 29 years of living life! Your happiness comes before anyone else. Be the best version of you!
What also helped me through my process was being around older women. Being around women who are older than you naturally have more experience then you. It was always interesting to hear or seek advice from someone older than me because it helped me gain perspective. Learning gives so much power to the brain. You don't realize the information you grasp at that moment can change your life. I always thought I had it all figured out on my own. My stubbornness didn't get me anywhere. I had to throw my pride down and had to be open to listen. It took a lot of humbleness and grace to work through all this. I had to be open to what was being fed spiritually and mentally.
Lastly, finding my purpose. I have to constantly set my mind to do what I love on a daily basis. I love fashion and beauty. Just creating your own style and own art through clothes and makeup. That's the beauty of being your own person. Everyone has a uniqueness about them. I refuse to live a robotic life. And sometimes, life can be that way. But that will only be that way if you create it that way. Style your own mind, style your own success. That is the beauty of finding your purpose. I know my goal is to one day touch lives through my writing and prayer. I was told that I would be influential to peoples lives through fashion and beauty. If it wasn't for God's Love, I would not be here.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
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Business Instagram: @bossbabee_movement
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Sunday, February 10, 2019
New Moves 2019
Wow it has been a long time coming! It's been two years I have not updated on my blog. I am officially back on my blog game with new ideas, new movements and new thoughts. A couple years back, my focus was mainly on fashion and beauty. I knew I had more to talk about, more ideas to share, new ideas to create. This year I will be focusing on my love for God and my relationship with him when it comes to prayer. Of course, fashion and beauty will be the focus as well but I would also be incorporating my purpose into writing. I've been fighting this battle of what my true calling was for the past two years. I was playing music on a worship team for the longest time and trust me, my heart of worship has expanded throughout the years. During my process, I've realized I had a heart to pray for healing. I wanted 2019 be the year of digging deep into what the Lord has called me to be.
I also created this thing called the #BOSSBABE Movement. It's been stuck in my mind for the longest time and now it's time for me to attack this thing! This movement is to focus on women to share their purpose in life. It doesn't just have to be women, it can be men as well. I want everyone to share their purpose and goals in life, and I'm hoping I can utilize that to pray for them. I honestly never knew it a million years I would be writing a blog or I was capable enough to write one. I didn't have much supporters but the ones who did always encouraged me and believed I can create something big. Writing has always help me soothe any pain I was going through in life so putting this out to the world means everything to me. To be able to express through words has been one of my biggest accomplishments. I'm not much to express or be open but I thank God through this blog that I am slowly able to break that chain and be an influence to someone.
This year is going to be the year of change and growth. I definitely see God working in me already. I promise to you all I will be more consistent with posting new ideas. Thank you for riding this journey with me. I can not wait!
I also created this thing called the #BOSSBABE Movement. It's been stuck in my mind for the longest time and now it's time for me to attack this thing! This movement is to focus on women to share their purpose in life. It doesn't just have to be women, it can be men as well. I want everyone to share their purpose and goals in life, and I'm hoping I can utilize that to pray for them. I honestly never knew it a million years I would be writing a blog or I was capable enough to write one. I didn't have much supporters but the ones who did always encouraged me and believed I can create something big. Writing has always help me soothe any pain I was going through in life so putting this out to the world means everything to me. To be able to express through words has been one of my biggest accomplishments. I'm not much to express or be open but I thank God through this blog that I am slowly able to break that chain and be an influence to someone.
This year is going to be the year of change and growth. I definitely see God working in me already. I promise to you all I will be more consistent with posting new ideas. Thank you for riding this journey with me. I can not wait!
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