Where Have You Been Dad?

I’ve longed for your love at the age of five.
But all I felt was rejection and getting denied.

Where were you when I felt rejected from all the men?
Used, verbally abused, low self esteem and alone.

Dad, I've been looking for you.
Where were you?
I've had you in my life for 29 years, and still felt nonexistent.
Your alcoholic behaviors made the family feel so resistant.

I wanted you to show me How a man is supposed to treat a woman,
But that was hard to believe because all I got was you calling me a worthless piece of human.

I've been called beautiful by many men.
But still had the ugly feeling inside then.
Many men would say, "How can a beautiful woman like you feel this way?"
But if you knew behind the curtain the scenes that were played

The pill I used to swallow used to give me side effects.
Depression, anxiety and some emotions to the next.
I used to think if I read the labels correctly I wouldn't feel as much pain.
But I knew that my God was my Lord in vain

Til' this day I still long for your love.
But all I can in those times is trust the man above.

I heard a voice one day and he said:
My beloved daughter, when you were hiding, I've been here all along.
Arise my darling, my beautiful one, come with me as it says in the book of Song of Songs.

I fought for you in your weakness.
When you locked yourself in your room filled with all your secrets.

Your faithful Dad has always been here.
Just lay your head next to me and come near.

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